Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
