I love black thongs
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize