I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
