Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
