I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
