You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
40s are totally the cure
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
