my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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