Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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