Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
