As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
