I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Two words: nipple clamps
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