this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
