Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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