this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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