Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
