Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize