i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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