is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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