Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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