You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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