Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
