is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize