how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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