Buhtt sex?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
