Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize