my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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