nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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