Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
