Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
