I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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