shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am spending my child support on dildos
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
