Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
