8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
