sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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