I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize