Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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