So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
