well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
