..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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