just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
