Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
