There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
