Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
