Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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