nut hugger
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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