I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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