At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
