omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize