I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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