She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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