Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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