im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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