You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize