UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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