if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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