I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
