if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
