did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
