at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
