i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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