dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
