he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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