there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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