Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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