Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
