He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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