You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
