She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
