that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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